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06 febrero

let me give it to you straight.

So it's pretty much an understood fact that I, right now, am pretty pathetic. Honestly. Don't deny it. I feel like I haven't slept since over a week ago. And now to reinstate the point I have been making via MSN for the past week.
 

There is no such thing as love.
And I know that's awfully cynical to say. But I need proof that it is possible today.
I'm not easy I'm just easily swayed.
'Cos I thought life was a cabaret, old chum.
Now I wanted to turn it off but my heart is just to soft.
Let me give it to you straight, straight like an arrow.
See, it looks a lot like staring at the sun and it sounds so much like broken glass.
Perhaps you're reeling from an awkward pass and it feels just like you want to die and there's no one left to watch you cry.
I've got to convince myself and just about everybody else that there's no love.

 

Or, as Sam points out, there is such thing as love, but it is hard to come by and easy to lose. And when do you know what love is? You may think you know. It might not be love just right now but it might be in time. But then it comes back and smacks you in the face and shouts "HAH! NO LOVE FOR YOU STUPID GIRL!". And that is when you realise you shouldn't give up your morals so easily for someone you think actually cares about you, but, in truth, doesn't.

 

THE END.

13 enero

Story: Tales From The Deep (or, Big Black Mother Spider Mofo)

When I was younger, I was never one to be afraid of insects. I was the kid who would aways play with the house spiders. My brother once ate a cockroach, which made me disgusting by association.
 
But as I have matured (and I use the term lightly), my fear for all things with mor than four legs has frown. Examples of this include the time my stepsister and I found a stick insect on the inside of my room's front door. We decided to conquer this skinny foe by coaxing it onto my year 9 English book (which I knew I had kept for a reason). Alas, whenever our weapon got within a 10cm radius of our target, it would twitch a lanky leg, sending us teenage girls screaming to the other side of the room. Eventually, brothers were recruited, and the enemy swiftly removed.
 
Yet another creepy crawly related incident was "The Cockroach Who Ran". I was sitting on my lounge one night when I deemed it time for sleep. I started walking over to my bed when HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS there is a cockroach on my ground. Thankfully, my trusty year 9 English book was again handy so I followed the garden escapee and feebly tried to crush its little cockroach brains. Finally, after chasing it for a good two minutes (and two minutes is a long time to chase a cockroach), I cornered it next to the cupboard and proceeded to bludgeon it to death, then covered all evidence by leaving the book on top of its not-yet-rotting-carcass, where it stayed for approximately a month.
 
But none of these terrifying experiences could prepare me for..
 
BIG BLACK MOTHER SPIDER MOFO
 
 So our story begins last night when I made my way downstairs to my room to find my pyjamas. Now, for those of you who don't know my house, my room has no internal access and the only way to get there is to go through my stepfather's workshop. So as I made my way through said workshop, I was greeted by THE BIGGEST SPIDER I HAVE EVER SEEN perched next to my door. I mean this was THE MOTHER OF ALL SPIDERS. This was no run of the mill Huntsman. From my extensive spider knowledge I'd say we were dealing with some kind of gigantic funnel web. I screamed and ran in the door, using my virtually unused front doorway to get back upstairs. I called my brother and told him to go get spider mofo out of the vicinity by means of a large stick. However when he returned the news was grim; spider mofo had retreated to the gap between the beer fridge & the wall.
 
Eventually I had to go downstairs. I tried to take precautions: I shut the door to my hallway the whole way (rare event), as well as my back bedroom door. Unfortunately my beloved door snake was guarding my front door, and if I removed it I knew I faced the chance of dealing with stick insect mofo AND spider mofo. So I tried to put it out of my mind as I lay in bed - played solitaire on my iPod, watched Disney Channel (instant cure for insomnia). Eventually I turned off the tv and tried to sleep. I thought I was making good progress with my drowziness after sleeping with me head on the pillow, in between the pillows, under the pillows and completely off the pillows. Then suddenly: nature called. I cursed my selfish past self for drinking water before bed and not thinking of the consequences for my future self. And for not taking crazy spider mofos into consideration. After a good 5 minutes of deliberation, I decided to brave it. I stood at the bottom of the stairs and surveyed the surrounding areas. No big black spider ass in sight. I made a dash for the bathroom, where so many of my bad spider experiences had played out (staring at a big brown huntsman making himself at home on the shower curtain). Thankfully I made it back to base without any spider mofo sighting.
 
In bed however I noticed the gaps underneath my doors - just big enough for spider mofo's big black ass to fit under. I grappled with the reality that when I was sleeping, he could sneak under my door and into my ear. He would then proceed to eat out my brain matter, and use me as a human droid to summon his spider mofo army. Eventually I would be abandoned and rendered useless, save for my attending of the weekly "Spiders Ate My Brains Out Anonymous" meeting (SAMBOA). I could not let this happen as I knew any day niw Captain Planet would call upon my marvellous brain to take the baddies down to zero, and I didn't want spider mofo to ruin my chances of obtaining a tacky ring. So I decided to block off brain access by plugging in my iPod and began  listening to the fitting "I See Spiders When I Close My Eyes" by the wonderful Boy Least Likely To. Followed by the appropriately inappropriate "I'm Glad I Hitched My Apple Wagon To Your Star".
 
The next morning I saw my 8 legged for in his evil lair behind the refrigerator. Beneath the shadows I saw his evil glare and my spidey sense picked up on him saying that tonight would be round two.
 
I had to prepare.
08 enero

..but i am le tired..

Why are holidays so boring.

I know every product in every shop of Miranda Fair, WBJ, Pitt Stret Mall and associated shopping areas.

And ze funds are lacking..

List of cd's to buy:

1. Everybody Uh-Oh - Man I Am Brad
2. Sufjan Stevens - Illinois
3. Broken Social Scene (ST)
4. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah (ST)
5. Wolf Parade - Apologies To The Queen Mary
6. My Morning Jacket - Z
7. The Cloud Room (ST)
8. Neutral Milk Hotel - In The Aeroplane Over The Sea
9. Communique - Posion Arrows
10. Thunderbirds Are Now - Just A Moustache
11. I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness (ST)(EP)
12. The Boy Least Likely to - The Best Party Ever

Yes well that was more for my benefit than anybody elses..

PS. If anybody has any Everybody Uh Oh or I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness songs then do share.. you don't? I thought so.

04 enero

hopeless?

All I want to do is find where my family came from in Germany
 
But my dad doesn't even know his own grandfathers name.
 
I mean my mother's side can trace their descendants probably right back to 1000BC but my dad doesn't know his grandfathers name?
01 enero

baby don't kill me

Did you know that if you put coke in the freezer and then put it in the 
fridge it makes coke slushie type thing.
As if you did.
I am genius.
 
Pete Doherty loves you. I promise.
From way far across the sea
Came an Arbitran maiden she
Had a one track mind and eyes for me
Half blinded in the war
With a pale young Anglican
Who said he'd help her all he can
Showed her Jesus and his little un-holy friend
She had no notion to please him
Just say 'ta-ra' and leave him behind

There's a little boy in a stairwell who 
Says "I hate people like you,
I got match sticks and cable TV
Half of less than 50p"
We all clambered over the balcony
Banging on the window waking Steve,
Bringing with a true love his un-holy friend
Singing if you really need it
You just wont leave it behind

Please kill me
Oh baby don't kill me
Don't bring that ghost round to my door
I don't wanna see them anymore
Please kill me 
Oh no don't kill me
Don't bang on about yesterday
You know I wouldn't know about that any way 

Monkey said to the mouse before
If she loved any body more than he
It turns you into stone now
I'm reversing down a lonely street
Cheap hotel where I can meet the past
Play it off and keep it sweet
It's sweet like nothing oh
It's just like nothing at all

Seeing you there
How could I help but stare
It rips the heart out of your baby
Taken far too much to see or think or touch
Whats real stranded on this street
I'll pave my only way home
If you really need it oh
You just won't leave it behind

Please kill me
Oh no don't kill me
Don't bring that ghost round to my door
I don't wanna see them anymore
Please kill me 
Oh no don't kill me
Don't bang on about yesterday
You know I wouldn't know about that any way oh no

He got nothing oh
He got nothing at all

somewhat rambling

If you don't get this entry, and I know you won't, don't worry, I have not gone crazy.
 
Point one:
  • On the off chance that you're listening to the radio, I just though you'd like to know you broke my heart
  • On that note, Pete Doherty is an absolute genius

Point two:

  • First epiphany of the year - when you have two good things to choose from, don't sit there and stare in awe at your beautiful mess. Nobody likes to wait for a vain and indecisive person.
  • I will never stick to this.
  • And that means now I deserve everything I get
  • Or don't get

Something similar to point two:

  • When you have something don't treat it badly and expect it to remain loyal

Point three:

  • The Cloud Room are a really good band. Take note Lauris.

Point four:

  • Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them.
30 diciembre

scratch that last entry

ghfghngdeigh;fondbgdf
 
die now?
 
kthx.
28 diciembre

this is me when i'm happy & lame

Im feeling better, since i surrendered, 
You can't climb till you're ready to fall, 
You're not a land mine, you're not a gold mine, 
No, you're not mine at all 

So tell me baby, can you hear me? 
I sent a message out into the dark, 
It's a mystery when you're near me, 
I've gotta find my way to your heart 

I learnt my lesson, first impressions, 
Are more often right than wrong, 
It's not a slow dance, this modern romance, 
Feels like we've already waited too long 

Don't worry baby, bout how it should be, 
I sent a message out into the dark, 
I'd rather talk to you, bout how it could be, 
I've gotta find my way to your heart 

I was one of those, breathing tornados, 
But now i live at the eye of the storm, 
And it's all faded, since the separation, 
Since i let your love keep me warm 

You tell me baby, that you can feel me, 
I sent a message out into the dark 
When i kiss you, thats the real me, 
I've gotta find my way to your heart 

So tell me baby, can you hear me? 
I sent a message out into the dark, 
It's a mystery when you're near me, 
I've gotta find my way to your heart 
15 diciembre

guess what time it is

Time for the quotes of the year
 
I need everyone's help with them though because I can't think of enough!
 
So far:
 
"There's a green car for Jessica"
Jess: Is it blue?
 
Abby: (To Nic of British India) Are you in a band?
 
Tash: Who sang Girls Just Wanna Have Fun?
Ally: Umm Cindy Crawford?
 
Mel: I'll give you $5 if you can touch your nose with your chin
 
Paabo: I'll give you 0, it's better than nothing
 
Ross: How do you bring a flamboyant gay down?
Ally: I don't think you can. They're too gay.. and flamboyant
Ross: Yeah they're pretty much invincible
Ross: ..so how do you knock him off his perch?
Ally: With baseballs
 
Francesca: Hugh I don't like repeating myself
Hugh: What?
Francesca: Hugh I don't like repeating myself
 
Matt: You're so sexy Johnny boy, I have your name tattooed on my ass
 
Abby: *yells at phone* WHY ARE YOU SPEAKING SO LOUD?
Pol: Because it's on loudspeaker..
 
*many* "OH NO NOT THE PASSION POP!"
 
Ross: Tobi do you want anything hot to eat?
Tobi: Fuck you.
 
Simone: Do me like a British nanny!
 
Simone: They're going to drop poo on them!
Ally: ACID POO!
 
Simone: Let's laugh at inappropriate moments
 
Simone: *in Narnia when Aslan comes back to life* In the cirrrrcllle.... the circle of liiiifee!
 
There's sooo many more I've forgotten, just leave them as comments as you think of them
08 diciembre

*ice ice baby* UNDER PRESSURE

haha Ice Ice Baby.. good times.

Today I went through all this stuff on the desk in the study

And it was all like sheets from Maths

And every single thing went in the recycling

It made me so happy

Now someone see Harry Potter with me because I have not.

Last night wa alright. The formal was pretty good except my feet hurt and I kept oversmiling. The afterparty was uneventful really but still alright. And yeah Sam & I are awesome watching 80's music videos all morning eh..

02 diciembre

Le Fabuleux destin d'Amlie Poulain

As most of you probably know by now Amelie was on Wednesday night.. unfortunately I missed most of my favourite bits which include -
  • The beginning, where Amelie's mother's pregnancy is explained in great detail
  • When the prompt tells Amelie to say "At least you'd never be a vegetable, even artichokes have hearts"
  • When all the pictures in Nino's book start talking
  • When Amelie visits her dad and tells him she's had an abortion
  • When Amelie's dad's gnome takes a trip around the world
  • When the horse runs through the Tour de France
  • When the fish tries to commit suicide

Ahh Amelie.. so good. It makes me want to go to Europe and fall in love. It also makes one appreciate the romantic nature of photobooths.

28 noviembre

gosh

I am so tired.. so so tired.. more tired than the tiredest of tireds.. but at least I've had fun!
 
Thursday I had spec all day then all ngiht I had WAM rehearsals, Friday was all day spec as was Saturday (well, it started at 12:30 but I slept till 11), Sunday was WAM rehearsals as was today and tomorrow and the concert is on Friday. Oh and Saturday is all day Homebake. Yay Homebake.. and omg.. British India. Also I need to find a formal necklace.. bah. That's all I have left. And decide what make up I want.. how exciting.. the lady from the Dior counter at DJ's is doing my makeup. Maybe she'll give me free stuff haha.. mayyybe.
 
4 more days of school left.. maybe I won't go on Friday. But I want to see everyone. .. esp. the Jess's. Hm it's my sister's formal tomorrow.. she's going with a guy I went to primary school with, and I really don't like him much but eh.. she does. I'm going to go embarrass her.. haha. It's at the Sutho Ent Cent if anyone wants to come with me.. thankfully she doesn't know where mine is so she can't return the favour. Btw where is our friggen after party?
20 noviembre

Music when the lights go out

Cos I have shit else to write about..

Well is it cruel or kind not to speak my mind
And to lie to you, rather than hurt you?

Well I'll confess all of my sins
After several large gins
But still I'll hide from you
And hide what's inside from you.

And alarm bells ring
When you say your heart still sings
When your with me
Oh won't please forgive me
But I no longer hear the music
Oh no no no no no

And all the memories of the pubs
And the clubs and the drugs and the tubs
We shared together
They'll stay with me forever

But all the highs and the lows
And the to's and the fro's
They left me dizzy

Oh won't you please forgive me
But I no longer hear the music
Oh no no no no no

Well I no longer hear the
Music when the lights go out
Love goes cold in the shades of doubt
The strange fate in my mind is all too clear
Music when the lights come on
The girl I thought I knew has gone
And with her my heart it disappeared

Well I no longer hear the music
Oh no no no no no

And all the memories of the fights and nights
and the blue lights and all the kites
We flew together
I thought they'd fly forever

But all the highs and the lows
And the to's and the fro's
They left me dizzy
Oh won't you please forgive me

But I no longer hear the music
Oh no no no no no

Music when the lights go out
Love goes cold in the shades of doubt
The strange fate in my mind is all too clear

Music when the lights come on
The girl I thought I knew has gone
And with her my heart it disappeared

But I no longer hear the music
Oh no no no no no
And I no longer hear the music 
18 noviembre

Omgosh?

Melb BDO is sooo much better than Sydney BDO
 
I hate Melbourne
 
They have The Casas
 
And wait for it..
 
BRITISH INDIA
 
I love British India x 10000
 
Who do Sydney have? Really really shitty local bands. Like, Peabody-style shitty.
 
I am going to kidnap British India and bring them to Sydney. You just wait.
17 noviembre

Enough dancing for the both of us

I have a friend.
 
She's kind of taller than me. Well not kind of, she is taller than me.
 
She has really hot hair.
 
She likes my perfume, somtimes.
 
She doesn't dance, apparently.
 
But it's ok
 
I still love you Pol
 
Cos she laughs at me all the time but it's ok
 
Cos we can talk about boys forever and ever
 
And even though she likes Kisschasy she once listened to Tiny Vessels for a lengthy period of time.. I think.
 
But that's also ok
 
Emo. <3
16 noviembre

All Fired Up

Arrggghh I have All Fired Up in my head.. damn dancing. Don't know it? Bet you do..
 
Now I believe there comes a time
When everything just falls in line
We live and learn from our mistakes
The deepest cuts are healed by faith
etc..
 
Yeah that's about all. How fun was today? Not very. I had Paabs then Wigans. That was bad. Very very bad.
 
Peace niggas.
15 noviembre

Excitement Central

So yeah.. city today. Stupid rain and too many people ruined it.. and bad lunch. But sticker photos were fun! Oh and nobody is going to wear miniskirts this summer, the Emporio girl and I decided. Shorts all the way. We saw a girl with ugg boots and a tartan skirt. Wtf is that!?!
 
Weekend.. was boring. I forget what I did. Saturday morning got my hair cut, went shopping for clothes.. got 2 pairs of shorts (orange & grey). And.. then I went to a fiftieth birthday party which was boring, there were all these teachers/ex teachers telling me horrible things they did to their students. But then I was saved before the actual dinner and went to Ross's house.. many viewings of Chappelle and Family Guy were had. And I kicked my toe and it freaking hurts (still). Then Sunday.. I really.. did nothing. Coogee in the morning but that's about it, 5pm church.. which was exciting.
 
So now I am listening to Wir Sind Helden and thinking about things I shouldn't think about but I can't help it, some are sad songs and even though I don't know what they're saying I still get the feeling from the music.
 
Please come and dig me out of my hole?
14 noviembre

A moment in the life of Lil Jon

The funniest shiznit to ever have graced tv and or computer screens
(To watch it --> http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/chappelles_show/videos/season_2/index.jhtml?start=1 Lil Jon & Oprah)
 
Jon 2: Hello and good evening
Jon 1: It's me
Jon 2: What?
J1: It's me
J2: What?
J1: It's me. Little John.
J2: Okayy!
J1: I was feeling lonely, I was feeling like I just needed to talk to someone who understands and well, that someone is you Jon
J2: Okay!
J1: Don't you like popsicles?
J2: What?
J1: I said don't you like popsicles?
J2: What?
J1: I said don't you like popsicles?
J2: Yeah!
J1: What!
J2: Yeah!
J1: What!
J2: Yeah!
J1: Okay!
J2: Sometimes I feel like I am all alone in this world and I have NO ONE to go to
J1: What?
J2: I said, somtimes I feel like I am all alone in this world and I have NO ONE sir
J1: What?
J2: No one!
J1: What?
J2: To go to.
J1: Huh?
J2: NO ONE! That understands my pain!
J1: Yeah!
J2: Yeah!
J1: Sometiems when I'm alone, I sit on my head, wait till it goes numb, and masturbate. I call it a stranger. Have you ever given yourself a stranger?
J2: What?
J1: A stranger
J2: Yeah, yeah I have
J1: Okay!
J2: Yeah!
*phone rings*
J1: Hold on. They caaaallin' me!
Oprah: Little John? It's Oprah
J1: How are you?
O: Good. Listen, I'm pregnant
J1: Muahahahahahaha. Are you sure it's mine?
O: Yes, I'm sure it's yours
J1: Awww STINKSTINKSTINKSTINKSTINK (or something along those lines)
O: I love you
J1: OK buhbye! *hangs up*
J1: That was Oprah. Muahahahaha. She's having our baby
J2: Yeah!
J1: I can't hear you, my cell phone's breaking up
J2: I can't hear you, sounds like your phone is breaking up
J1: What? What? What? What? What? What?
J2: Okay! Yeah! Yeah! What! Okay!
J1: Yeah. Affirmative. Huh? Roger. Yeah! What? Meltin down! Ahhh!
J2: Bye nigga!
08 noviembre

Look at the way they start to act

Funniest thing all year:
 
Georgia - "Am I Lauren or am I being Lauren?"
 
I guess you had to be there.
 
----
 
Right now I feel like going down to my room, making sure nobody else is in the house, and belting out Rough Diamonds at the top of my voice. It's such a happy song..
 
Baby
Where are you?
There's so many things I've got to say
When I get home
Like, I love you
I miss you
Honestly, I can't resist you