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February 06 let me give it to you straight.So it's pretty much an understood fact that I, right now, am pretty pathetic. Honestly. Don't deny it. I feel like I haven't slept since over a week ago. And now to reinstate the point I have been making via MSN for the past week.
There is no such thing as love.
Or, as Sam points out, there is such thing as love, but it is hard to come by and easy to lose. And when do you know what love is? You may think you know. It might not be love just right now but it might be in time. But then it comes back and smacks you in the face and shouts "HAH! NO LOVE FOR YOU STUPID GIRL!". And that is when you realise you shouldn't give up your morals so easily for someone you think actually cares about you, but, in truth, doesn't.
THE END. January 13 Story: Tales From The Deep (or, Big Black Mother Spider Mofo)When I was younger, I was never one to be afraid of insects. I was the kid who would aways play with the house spiders. My brother once ate a cockroach, which made me disgusting by association.
But as I have matured (and I use the term lightly), my fear for all things with mor than four legs has frown. Examples of this include the time my stepsister and I found a stick insect on the inside of my room's front door. We decided to conquer this skinny foe by coaxing it onto my year 9 English book (which I knew I had kept for a reason). Alas, whenever our weapon got within a 10cm radius of our target, it would twitch a lanky leg, sending us teenage girls screaming to the other side of the room. Eventually, brothers were recruited, and the enemy swiftly removed.
Yet another creepy crawly related incident was "The Cockroach Who Ran". I was sitting on my lounge one night when I deemed it time for sleep. I started walking over to my bed when HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS there is a cockroach on my ground. Thankfully, my trusty year 9 English book was again handy so I followed the garden escapee and feebly tried to crush its little cockroach brains. Finally, after chasing it for a good two minutes (and two minutes is a long time to chase a cockroach), I cornered it next to the cupboard and proceeded to bludgeon it to death, then covered all evidence by leaving the book on top of its not-yet-rotting-carcass, where it stayed for approximately a month.
But none of these terrifying experiences could prepare me for..
BIG BLACK MOTHER SPIDER MOFO
So our story begins last night when I made my way downstairs to my room to find my pyjamas. Now, for those of you who don't know my house, my room has no internal access and the only way to get there is to go through my stepfather's workshop. So as I made my way through said workshop, I was greeted by THE BIGGEST SPIDER I HAVE EVER SEEN perched next to my door. I mean this was THE MOTHER OF ALL SPIDERS. This was no run of the mill Huntsman. From my extensive spider knowledge I'd say we were dealing with some kind of gigantic funnel web. I screamed and ran in the door, using my virtually unused front doorway to get back upstairs. I called my brother and told him to go get spider mofo out of the vicinity by means of a large stick. However when he returned the news was grim; spider mofo had retreated to the gap between the beer fridge & the wall.
Eventually I had to go downstairs. I tried to take precautions: I shut the door to my hallway the whole way (rare event), as well as my back bedroom door. Unfortunately my beloved door snake was guarding my front door, and if I removed it I knew I faced the chance of dealing with stick insect mofo AND spider mofo. So I tried to put it out of my mind as I lay in bed - played solitaire on my iPod, watched Disney Channel (instant cure for insomnia). Eventually I turned off the tv and tried to sleep. I thought I was making good progress with my drowziness after sleeping with me head on the pillow, in between the pillows, under the pillows and completely off the pillows. Then suddenly: nature called. I cursed my selfish past self for drinking water before bed and not thinking of the consequences for my future self. And for not taking crazy spider mofos into consideration. After a good 5 minutes of deliberation, I decided to brave it. I stood at the bottom of the stairs and surveyed the surrounding areas. No big black spider ass in sight. I made a dash for the bathroom, where so many of my bad spider experiences had played out (staring at a big brown huntsman making himself at home on the shower curtain). Thankfully I made it back to base without any spider mofo sighting.
In bed however I noticed the gaps underneath my doors - just big enough for spider mofo's big black ass to fit under. I grappled with the reality that when I was sleeping, he could sneak under my door and into my ear. He would then proceed to eat out my brain matter, and use me as a human droid to summon his spider mofo army. Eventually I would be abandoned and rendered useless, save for my attending of the weekly "Spiders Ate My Brains Out Anonymous" meeting (SAMBOA). I could not let this happen as I knew any day niw Captain Planet would call upon my marvellous brain to take the baddies down to zero, and I didn't want spider mofo to ruin my chances of obtaining a tacky ring. So I decided to block off brain access by plugging in my iPod and began listening to the fitting "I See Spiders When I Close My Eyes" by the wonderful Boy Least Likely To. Followed by the appropriately inappropriate "I'm Glad I Hitched My Apple Wagon To Your Star".
The next morning I saw my 8 legged for in his evil lair behind the refrigerator. Beneath the shadows I saw his evil glare and my spidey sense picked up on him saying that tonight would be round two.
I had to prepare. January 08 ..but i am le tired..Why are holidays so boring. I know every product in every shop of Miranda Fair, WBJ, Pitt Stret Mall and associated shopping areas. And ze funds are lacking.. List of cd's to buy: 1. Everybody Uh-Oh - Man I Am Brad Yes well that was more for my benefit than anybody elses.. PS. If anybody has any Everybody Uh Oh or I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness songs then do share.. you don't? I thought so. January 04 hopeless?All I want to do is find where my family came from in Germany
But my dad doesn't even know his own grandfathers name.
I mean my mother's side can trace their descendants probably right back to 1000BC but my dad doesn't know his grandfathers name? January 01 baby don't kill meDid you know that if you put coke in the freezer and then put it in the As if you did. I am genius. Pete Doherty loves you. I promise. From way far across the sea Came an Arbitran maiden she Had a one track mind and eyes for me Half blinded in the war With a pale young Anglican Who said he'd help her all he can Showed her Jesus and his little un-holy friend She had no notion to please him Just say 'ta-ra' and leave him behind There's a little boy in a stairwell who Says "I hate people like you, I got match sticks and cable TV Half of less than 50p" We all clambered over the balcony Banging on the window waking Steve, Bringing with a true love his un-holy friend Singing if you really need it You just wont leave it behind Please kill me Oh baby don't kill me Don't bring that ghost round to my door I don't wanna see them anymore Please kill me Oh no don't kill me Don't bang on about yesterday You know I wouldn't know about that any way Monkey said to the mouse before If she loved any body more than he It turns you into stone now I'm reversing down a lonely street Cheap hotel where I can meet the past Play it off and keep it sweet It's sweet like nothing oh It's just like nothing at all Seeing you there How could I help but stare It rips the heart out of your baby Taken far too much to see or think or touch Whats real stranded on this street I'll pave my only way home If you really need it oh You just won't leave it behind Please kill me Oh no don't kill me Don't bring that ghost round to my door I don't wanna see them anymore Please kill me Oh no don't kill me Don't bang on about yesterday You know I wouldn't know about that any way oh no He got nothing oh He got nothing at all somewhat ramblingIf you don't get this entry, and I know you won't, don't worry, I have not gone crazy.
Point one:
Point two:
Something similar to point two:
Point three:
Point four:
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